I have considered multiple ways to explain myself and how things are as I know them, in what way you might understand them, and I
This is what I would like to tell you: It's 2013.
Sam is how you have always known him, and the world is still mostly the same. There are minor differences, of course, but I am avoiding the main reason for this letter by saying it. If you have ever considered us friends, as I still think we are, I hope that you read this to the very end, and that it holds whatever answers you might have needed to hear.
I have made too many mistakes to ask your forgiveness, but understand that all I have done was always with you in mind. You deserved what happiness being with Lisa Braeden brought you, and
I watched you.
I was there, even if you thought I had abandoned you to a life without your brother, and I heard you. I always have. I did what I could to make it right then, but assuring your well being and attempting to organize what was left of Heaven coincided. I had to make a decision, and the best one was not the correct one. I have unfortunately made many of those since then. Even with the right intentions, I could never seem to fix anything. Opening Purgatory and releasing those souls freed the Leviathan, and they were much too powerful to contain.
I lost to them, and in return, you lost me.
I could never ask for you to forgive me for that, but somehow, when we found each other again, you did. Your compassion never ceases to surprise me.
Still, I couldn't forgive myself for those things. I killed countless beings, angels and humans alike. I slaughtered them because they would not put their faith in me, and perhaps they were right to do so. The Leviathan were no better, but I stood by you despite my own cowardice. Stopping them did not put an end to it, however.
... Purgatory.
We survived approximately a year in Purgatory together.
I will give whatever details you wish, but it's a place no human should ever experience. I did what I could to protect you and the vampire Benny. We saved each other, and escaping Purgatory was all I could want for you. I forced you to go without me, and whatever you might have believed then, it was not your fault. I owed penance, and I still do.
I only vaguely remember returning, and despite my reluctance, it must have been at Naomi's hand. She was charged with re-ordering the chaos that had become of Heaven, for much of my actions following my freedom. And I
I committed so many wrongs under her control. There are things that I could not admit to you, things that might change everything, but there is something I have never even told you in the present. She trained me to kill you. I came close, but I couldn't. You said that you needed me, and that is something I will never forget as long as I exist. You need me, and all I am ever good for is
[ Some text is missing. ]
You also asked how I became human.
It begins and ends with the angel Metatron and you and your brother's attempts to close Hell. There were... trials, and I could not idly sit by while you risked your lives. I worked with Metatron to close Heaven instead, and part of it required an angel's grace. I assume you can follow what happens as I am the result of that failure, and I have spent every moment since trying to amend what it is I've done to my brothers and sisters. They lost everything because of me. You and Sam, too -
I would never forget the incentive that has brought me to Eudio. It matters that I do this the correct way, and that also means asking you to believe me.
Regardless of the past, I am with you. I always will be. Please know that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text (email);
Date: 2015-03-29 02:42 am (UTC)This is what I would like to tell you: It's 2013.
Sam is how you have always known him, and the world is still mostly the same. There are minor differences, of course, but I am avoiding the main reason for this letter by saying it. If you have ever considered us friends, as I still think we are, I hope that you read this to the very end, and that it holds whatever answers you might have needed to hear.
I have made too many mistakes to ask your forgiveness, but understand that all I have done was always with you in mind. You deserved what happiness being with Lisa Braeden brought you, and
I watched you.
I was there, even if you thought I had abandoned you to a life without your brother, and I heard you. I always have. I did what I could to make it right then, but assuring your well being and attempting to organize what was left of Heaven coincided. I had to make a decision, and the best one was not the correct one. I have unfortunately made many of those since then. Even with the right intentions, I could never seem to fix anything. Opening Purgatory and releasing those souls freed the Leviathan, and they were much too powerful to contain.
I lost to them, and in return, you lost me.
I could never ask for you to forgive me for that, but somehow, when we found each other again, you did. Your compassion never ceases to surprise me.
Still, I couldn't forgive myself for those things. I killed countless beings, angels and humans alike. I slaughtered them because they would not put their faith in me, and perhaps they were right to do so. The Leviathan were no better, but I stood by you despite my own cowardice. Stopping them did not put an end to it, however.
... Purgatory.
We survived approximately a year in Purgatory together.
I will give whatever details you wish, but it's a place no human should ever experience. I did what I could to protect you and the vampire Benny. We saved each other, and escaping Purgatory was all I could want for you. I forced you to go without me, and whatever you might have believed then, it was not your fault. I owed penance, and I still do.
I only vaguely remember returning, and despite my reluctance, it must have been at Naomi's hand. She was charged with re-ordering the chaos that had become of Heaven, for much of my actions following my freedom. And I
I committed so many wrongs under her control. There are things that I could not admit to you, things that might change everything, but there is something I have never even told you in the present. She trained me to kill you. I came close, but I couldn't. You said that you needed me, and that is something I will never forget as long as I exist. You need me, and all I am ever good for is
[ Some text is missing. ]
It begins and ends with the angel Metatron and you and your brother's attempts to close Hell. There were... trials, and I could not idly sit by while you risked your lives. I worked with Metatron to close Heaven instead, and part of it required an angel's grace. I assume you can follow what happens as I am the result of that failure, and I have spent every moment since trying to amend what it is I've done to my brothers and sisters. They lost everything because of me. You and Sam, too -
I would never forget the incentive that has brought me to Eudio. It matters that I do this the correct way, and that also means asking you to believe me.
Regardless of the past, I am with you. I always will be. Please know that.
— C.
text;
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From:text. maybe i just also wanted a text thread with you
Date: 2015-04-16 01:29 pm (UTC)[ guess who just saw sam... ]
text. huffs!!!! hdu!!!
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Date: 2015-04-20 01:00 am (UTC)text.
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